January Jam January 8, 2009

What is it about Winter that just makes us feel so lackadaisical and plain blahh? The coldness and the darkness makes me feel so lazy. I want to get dressed up, but my wardrobe feels old and the cold weather limits my fashion options. Plus, I’ve been trying to save my money, which limits what activities I can partake in. For some reason, I’ve been sleeping in more than ever. I am usually an early waker, but it must be the season in combination with leftover college semester exhaustion.  It takes so much energy to get out of bed, it’s ridiculous, and then it takes me hours to actually feel awake and alive.

I’ve been cruising the internet, soaking up fashion blogs and disgrasian.com, as I watch the Devil Wears Prada on cable.  It’s easier to think about style and going out, rather than to actually participate in it.

lame.

Bring It On December 31, 2008

Haven’t blogged in quite a while- since the summer, actually.  Been busy getting used to the college life.  But now I’m on break at home and enjoying every moment.

College has been fun and challenging.  In general, what I expected.  It’s good to be home with all my loved ones.  Being a six to eight hour drive away from home really makes you appreciate your roots.

I’ve decided to make a new Myspace for networking purposes.  I’m taking my acting aspirations seriously, and this is a good way to get myself out there bit by bit and hopefully meet some cool people.  Sure, I’m a college freshman, but it’s never too early.  In no way do I expect to get “discovered” or anything of the sort, but I’m just letting people know: I’m here; I’m passionate; I’m ready, world!  Anyhow, check it out.

As everyone knows, tomorrow is the last day of 2008.  It is bittersweet.  2008 was my year, I feel.  I graduated high school and moved to college.  It was a great year.  One of the best years of my 18 year old life, if the not thee best.  I made new friends, accomplished so many things that I am forever proud of, and made some mistakes too, one of which I’m working on patching up.  If I learned anything, it’s that life’s a balancing act.  Too much of a good thing can turn bad.  Cliché, yes, but true.  When you make new friends, you can’t just abandon the old.

I haven’t given the new year much thought until today, but I am hopeful and excited.  I guess my resolution for ‘09 is to maintain a balanced life- in terms of academics, work, friends, and family.  I want to save up my money and not spend too much, because I definitely tend to do a lot of that.

I hope to go further with my acting, getting myself known on campus and maybe even beyond, hopefully interning and networking in the city.  And, lastly, I want to try to be friendlier and more social on campus and in general, because I am often told that I’m an intimidating person, and sometimes I keep to myself a lot, unless I’m with my close friends.

So here’s to the New Year.  May it be filled with lots o’ love & laughs.  =)

Olympic Mania August 13, 2008

This month, everyone knows that the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics is the big event to watch. And though there’s many different issues and controversies accompanying this world-wide competition, I can’t deny it- I sure do love to watch. I love the Olympics for what they essentially represent- the many nations of the world uniting in one place to show off their hard work. I seriously can’t get enough of these athletes, and the idea of how hard they train. I’m not so sporty myself, and grew a bitter resentment towards my high school athletic department after an unpleasant 3 years of cross country, but it’s undeniable that these athletes kick major arse. And I really can’t help but swell with joy when I watch these people break records and achieve some of their highest dreams.

Don’t get me wrong. I know there’s some effed up shit happening around us (after reading Autobiography of a Blue-Eyed Devil, and while in the midst of Lies My Teacher Told Me- you do not need to tell me twice). But it’s because I feel an unshakable sadness often these days, being in the process of reaching consciousness of what really has been going on in our backyards, that I like to appreciate what happiness I can find.

For example, the Olympics allow me, other women, gay men, etc. alike to shamelessly drool over sexy men in tighty tight tight Speedos.

Oh Goddess, how it slays me. Seriously, women-lovers (or really haters, depending on how you look at certain people) get to enjoy (as disgusting as it is) looking at skimpy women all over the media as much as they like 24/7. But the Olympics is like a freakin’ field day for the rest of us.

And lastly, can we please get the fuck over the whole little girl lip-syncing scandal? Trust me, that shallow shit grinds my gears to no end, but let’s not pretend that this is something that only China would do. Don’t give me bullshit about how we are beyond expecting perfection from women. All of society perpetuates it; it happens all the time. So let’s look at ourselves and ask, “What the hell am I gonna do about it?” and do it, because there’s plenty of other piles of societal shit that need to be shoveled up.

Cups Ain’t Just For Drinking August 12, 2008

After my disappointing encounter with the Instead Soft Cup, I’ve moved on to the Diva Cup. And I must say, halle-freakin-luyah! The Diva Cup is seriously the answer to all of my periodic problems.

After using it for just one cycle, I know I will never go back. Though the insertion and removal does take a bit of getting used to, and may cause some discomfort, once it’s in, it stays in and feels like nothing (this lack of feeling may be achieved by cutting off the little nub at the base of the cup that sticks out- don’t worry, the cup won’t get lost inside you!) If inserted correctly, you’ll stay leak-free (even when there was leakage, it was very little). I was surprised by how much cleaner you feel when using this product. You just pull it out, and all the blood is inside the cup, while the outside is all clean. This is a huge improvement compared to the leaky, messiness of pads and tampons- uh uh, never again, my friends. I have been converted!

Think this is a little strange? Well, there are whole cunt-loving communities devoted to this stuff! You just have to know where to look. And once you’ve been exposed, you realize that there’s a whole ‘nother world of this! I knew about Instead, the Keeper, the Divacup, the Mooncup, but who knew there was so much more than that? The Lunette, Miacup, Femmecup, Ladycup?

What!?!?

Snoop around, and maybe even, *gasp*, purchase one! With so many options and variations out there, there’s gotta be one that’s just right for you!

instead July 28, 2008

Now that I’ve done a little intro to Alternative Goods for Your Goodies, I’ll let y’all into my personal experiences with some of these lovely products.

Since being more conscious about what my money is supporting, I can’t help but be extremely guilty and disgusted when my period comes around- not about my period itself, but about the products I’ve been using. I can’t stand pads and tampons anymore for the discomfort they cause me and the idea of what they’re doing to the environment everytime I throw another one in the trash barrel.

My experience so far with lunapads have been very satisfactory and vindicating, though, as a college-bound woman with an unstable job, I’ve still been unable to muster the nerve to purchase anything beyond some pantiliners.

Anyhow, during my last cycle, I was perusing the feminine care isle of a CVS, whereupon I found a box of Instead Softcups. Having heard about menstrual cups before, I was very excited to try a possibly more comfortable and hassle-free alternative to tampons/pads. Unfortunately, after going home and unsuccessfully testing about half the box of 14 softcups, I was disappointed. Though I still very much like the idea of these disposable cups, and they fit into place pretty easily, these one-size-fits-most cups did not fit me. They fell out of place very easily, causing leakage.

Since my experience, I have contacted them in hopes of them producing a slightly smaller sized cup. We women aren’t all built the same! (Since then, I’ve purchased a DivaCup, which I’ll report back on once my next cycle comes. Wee!)

Anyhow, aside from my own experiences, I have heard of many women who swear by this product. So I encourage all of you out there to try it. Take it from fellow goddess: Angela Shelton!

Tick tock July 24, 2008

Up until recently, I was very much in the summer mode- just working, relaxing, hanging out.  Of course, I’m still in this mode, but it’s becoming more and more undeniable that college is fast approaching.  My contentment with just living in this moment is coming to a screeching halt as everyone I encounter seems to have an interest in my plans for college and in my level of excitement on this subject.  It’s a big transition and I’m excited, but I am nervous for the school work to come.  I really hope I’ll be able to handle the work load and manage my time.  Other than that, I’m excited to meet new people and explore Philly.  But I can wait.

With that said, I’m really glad I have my Posse to share this experience with.  Since our recent retreat to Thompson Island, we’ve gotten very close, and I realize how lucky I am to have such a secure support system for the next four years, and maybe even beyond that.

Speaking of the retreat, having spent a couple nights on a woodsy island, I’ve found out that I have some sort of mosquito allergy.  Out of all things to be allergic to.. mosquitoes? Gettingsbug bites are already quite irritating enough, without the added swelling.  I guess I’ll have to brave the rest of my summer with layers, anti-itch cream, bug spray, and antihistamines.  Joyous.

Alternative Goods for Your Goodies! July 12, 2008

For quite a while now, I’ve been working on being a smart shopper- that is, making sure my money goes to people who deserve it and people who care about the community, their customers, and the environment, rather than major cock-sucking cunt-hating corporations.

Thus, I now present to you: the wonderful world of alternative menstrual products!

What’s wrong with regular ol’ pads and tampons?

1. They’re brought to you by man-owned coorporations, who know jackshit about you, your cunt, and your comfort.
2. Disposables are awful for the environment, getting flushed down the toilet, or taking up space in landfills.
3. $$$
4. Toxic Shock Syndrome, bleach, chemicals = directly exposed to your vagina. eek!

Soo…what are the alternatives?

Behold!

1. Lunapads, Gladrags
   
2. Instead Softcups
3. DivaCup, the Keeper, the Mooncup

What’s so great about these alternative products?

1. Support women and lesser known corporations that love your body.
2. Most of these options are reusable, lasting for up to years and years, saving you mucho money and reducing your environmental footprint.
3. Safe and healthy! No scary cunt-destroying chemicals!
4. Comfort, comfort, comfort!

So there you have it. Check it out. And start taking control of your body.

Have a truly happy period!

Doctor Appointment From Hell July 12, 2008

Today I have had the worst check-up experience of my life.

I’ve been going to the same doctor for the last ten years, but now that I’m eighteen, I’m smart enough to know when I deserve better.  Much better.

Now that I’ll be off to Bryn Mawr College in Pennsylvania this coming August, I needed to get a check-up at the doctor’s, and get all my shots and whatnot.  The service at this office sucks.  They truly do not know how to connect with their patients.  Because this is a long story, I’ll attempt to shorten it with a list of what went wrong for me during this experience.

1. Scary butch nurse, who does not communicate well.
2. Scary butch nurse walks in and out of room asking if I possess a “blue book” listing all of my past immunizations, or if I’ve ever gotten a skin test- both of which I knew nothing about, and both of which they should have had in their records.  That’s your job, Doc, not mine. (This is when I started to get nervous.  You expect me to let you inject stuff into me, when you don’t even know what the fuck you have or have not given me before? What?)
3. Doctor comes in and lists all of the things that need to be done to me.  Holy shit.
4. Doctor tells me that I’ll need to come back on Monday and take the urine test then, because I’m currently menstruating.  Doctor walks out.  Scary butch nurse walks in and orders me to pee in cup.
5. I sign papers without being explained what exactly is going on.  I get four shots, a TB skin test, and my blood drawn.  Nurse tells me my arms will be sore this weekend.  Thanks.
6. I am told to make an appointment for Monday.  Reception ladies are not at reception desk, and when I find them, they tell me just to call anytime, though they’ll be closed on Saturday and Sunday.
7. Cherry to top it off:  I find out, after leaving the building, that the Doctor did not mention that the Gardasil shot I consented to take costs a whopping fucking $500+ (and I don’t know if my insurance covers it) and that it’s a 3-shot process that occurs over several months (hello, I will be in Pennsylvania.)

Lesson: Get a doctor with nurses that you can trust, because who knows how they may be fucking around with you and your body.

However, it was quite amusing when, after talking to me on the phone and hearing how upset I was about my experience at the doctor (without hearing all the details) my boyfriend ran from his house to mine, still in his PJs, worried that something catastrophic had occurred.

Let those babies breathe! July 11, 2008

I’ve been going braless for months now. Being part of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee, this wasn’t so hard a transition for me. It was quite simple- my boobs are small (A Cup range, if you must know) and wearing a bra was just plain uncomfortable.

There have been connections made between wearing a bra and developing breast cancer or fibrocystic breast disease, because wearing a bra can hinder how your breasts remove toxins and other processes. In addition, not wearing a bra is supposed to actually prevent sagging. Boobs have ligaments, and just like any other muscle, to be strong, they need to be used. When you wear a bra to support your boobs, those muscles aren’t being used, causing your boobs to lose the inability to support themselves without a bra.

For me, it’s a way to say fuck you to the media, big corporations that benefit from selling bras and making me hate my body, and pressure for girls/women to look a certain way. For such a long time, I had problems with my self-image, because I hated how small my breasts were, and I thought no guy could look at me and like me. Wearing bras would make my boobs look bigger.

Eventually, however, I got sick of being brainwashed and oppressed. I got sick of feeling uncomfortable and confined. I got sick of looking at myself in the mirror without a bra, and thinking I look bad, just because my boobs looked small. Well, you know what, they are small. And I love them. And they’re healthy and free and oh so comfy.

Your’s can be too. =]

Check out: How To Go Braless

Womanifesto (I) January 16, 2008

I finally got around to finishing this last night, so I decided to post it up. I love to recite poetry, and have participated in the National Poetry Out Loud Competition, but I don’t write much of my own, though I do enjoy it when I do. In Cunt: A Declaration of Independence, the author, Inga Muscio, brings up the idea that every woman should write her own womanifesto -basically, a personal declaration that one is to live by. I intend on writing more of these, but here is my first one. It is meant to be recited in a spoken word/slam poetry style.

I am a SOULJA SISTA.
An army of one, and one of an army.
On my battlefield, I bleed only when my cunt says I should.
I am the commanding officer of what goes in and what comes out, so you can take your control

and wrap it up.
On my battlefield, you will not address me as “cutie” or “hunny,” but as Beautiful Equal.
My uniform, whether loose or tight, is not an invitation for diction that would compliment a piece of meat.
On my battlefield, education is required. Optimism is a necessity.
Because, you see, in this arms race, your corporate weapons of mass destruction are nothing in comparison to my mind, body, and soul.
I’m a dynamo,

and if necessary,
I will go nuclear.
So, in the name of every veteran and every victim of V-Day,
I will forever fight

for the universal human right
that is
NO WOMAN LEFT BEHIND.